First of all, props to anyone who can tell me where my title came from!
I can now officially feel sorry for those people that I used to judge for not taking their medicine. I would hear about crazy people who stopped taking their pills and then went off the deep end, and I would think, “Why would you NOT take your medicine if you KNOW you are crazy?” Well, I am crazy and stopped taking my happy pills, and as a result I got really sad and I couldn’t stop eating junk food and taking naps. Thankfully my turn to the dark side only involved getting fat and lazy and subsequent self loathing, and I am not hurting anyone else. Unless you include making my kids cry by yelling at them.
I ran out of my Prozac and kept procrastinating on getting a refill. In my defense, normally I am normal and ok. My problem comes each month around “that time”. I have PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder ) also known as “Your hormones will make you go bat shit crazy and cause you to scream at the ones you love, feel a sense of impending doom even though there is really nothing wrong, and eat and sleep and then hate yourself.” That is the medical term.
So I went along without taking my daily dose of my anti-depressant and things were fine. And then BAM, just like that, the dark cloud came. I found myself with a short fuse and no patience for anyone or anything. I found myself not wanting to get out of bed in the morning and then thinking all day long about when I could get home and get back into bed. And then I started making trips to Target to buy Easter candy. I sat in my car yesterday and ate 5 Cadbury eggs and an entire movie size box of Sour Patch Kids. I knew I had hit rock bottom, so I decided to go back into Target and ask the pharmacist for help. I told him that my prescription was at Walgreens, but I really needed my medicine before I purchased and consumed more chocolate and asked him to help me. The first step is admitting you have a problem and asking for help. My family and my waist line will be eternally indebted to Jeff, the friendly Target pharmacist who rose to the occasion and got me my meds.
So now I have 40 mg of Fluoxetine coursing through my veins. Everything is going to be ok.
Wait, I don’t think it is actually coursing through my veins. That makes it sounds like I crunched up my pill and injected it into my arm with a needle. I didn’t do that. I just swallowed it with some water. Ok, maybe it wasn’t water. It was diet coke. But at least I didn’t take it with a glass of wine.